This blog sorely needs a new tune, so here it is. Ta-da.
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I am terribly saddened to say that after I watched Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, that the film industry has gone above the shallow waters and onto the deepest of shallow shores.
Hollywood has been putting out the same formula again and again, where they pull off action scripts full of blood, vulgar, elaborate slow-mo angles and gore but left the plot/script/choice of actors to three year olds. While I am not to say Jeremy Renner or Gemma Artheton are not good actors (they are, in fact, pretty decent for the 20th century), but you can just tell that they are not enjoying this whole re-imagining of Hansel and Gretel thing going on, despite the fact that they told the media they enjoyed filming it.
Of course, if you want to talk about 'deep and profound' movies Hollywood has made throughout the years, the only ones worthy to mention in the past ten years are The Dark Knight, The Departed, Moneyball and True Grit. Other than that, the overly egoistic movies such as The Dark Knight Rises (let's face it; Nolan's 'I-am-famous-now-so-I-think-anything-I-put-out-on-movie-screen-is-good' plan is definitely splattering all over your body as you watch the movie) and horribly decent movies like The Hangover (please do not let me get started on that) are putting the industry to shame.
For many years, filmmakers have wished for a mold where they can craft a film in such a way that any audience could tell it belongs to him or her making. They got it in the form of CGI effects and the sudden interest in making a film based on hard material like books or comics.
Say what you want, but Michael Bay's Transformers was the movie that left the mold the way it is right now. A hero in distress, a sexy lady who just so happens to know something the hero does not know and also happens to be a tomboy, a robot sidekick from outer space and a pile of villains who do not give a damn about the hero but still gets their ass kicked by the hero's lady friend and his robotic sidekick.
We, the viewers, are trapped in a vicious cycle where countless of movies used the same plot and script with different actors to ruse us, to amuse us with their deceit and lies of being creative. The Hollywood film industry has made one good movie out of ten, and the other six or seven are rated 7/10 or higher by critics or viewers simply because they have better sound effects and a complete 80's Scorsese ripoff with a hint of Polanski's attention to emotions.
I guess I am just tired of watching the same film over and over again. This mold needs to change, and while the mold is still being used by many in Hollywood, I would have to assume that half of them did not realize that what they have been doing are the same and had done nothing to contribute to the film industry. Sex, money, power or even pretentious kinship do not cut it anymore.
If I were to get a choice to direct a film and to have control over the process of making the entire script, I would make a movie solely about food, a man with a simple dream and in Hollywood standards, a hilariously realistic heist gone wrong. Viewers and critics search for plots that are worthy to be called 'profound' or just simply rummage through a movie searching for actions full of fire and bullet holes, but what they are missing out is the simplicity, the white sheet of paper that is a viewer's mind when he or she comes into the movie, sitting down on a comfortable (assuming it is) chair with both hands busy with popcorn and fattening soft drinks on their hands. Impressively laden plots like Inception could make a viewer go 'wow', but trust me, a simple movie like Submarine (by Richard Ayoade, by the way) could also make a viewer go home with a new, refreshing feeling.
This is a TV series I am hooked on right now. It is incredibly stupid if you do not know what is going on, but if you do, then you will have some of the best 30 minutes of your life.
Of course, my opinions on Hollywood will change eventually, but for better or for worse, I do not know. However, there is one thing I DO know; after graduating from Film school, I would rather work my ass and get paid less than two thousand quid a month filming dormant volcanoes on helicopters or freezing to death filming a wide angle shot in the North Pole for BBC than to direct a B-rated action movie in Hollywood, earn half a million dollars and being well known as 'the guy to look for if you want to see things explode'. Just sayin'.
P.S: As an instant noodles regular, I would suggest to anyone to keep the hell away from seafood flavored ones. They taste like a glass of water full of salt and water with soggy strands of hair.
