I know you will never be coming back.
I can only see black and white as the colors of nature have lost its beauty, and your presence in my mind is the only one that illuminates with such light that it blinds me. Living in this world has been a blessing with you in it, and now, it is a curse that would bind me with me bleeding red and specks of grey.
The shimmering light bulbs that would dance around your head when you thought of an amazingly dull idea, the punches and scratches I would have to endure, the look you would give me whenever I drove my car with near undivided concentration... I miss all that. I really do.
Perhaps I have underestimated my feelings for you. This slow, aching feeling that is churning my stomach and slowly turning my emotions into a black, thundering cloud is all but your doing, your physical presence being 8,670 miles away. Yellow bricks with gooey black tar are building itself around my heart, a defensive wall that is slowly turning everyone else away, and my mind is twisting itself into a downward spiral of loss. I am now defenseless. Hopelessness is brimming through the crevices of my mind, with wave after wave of emotions hitting me with such power it hurts whenever I move a fiber of my body. This time, I have lost. Lost to time and 8,670 miles.
Good luck in New York, girl. Good luck.
