I'm in my very own Incubus phase now. Dear me.
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I am not a romantic.
It is not that I dislike being one, and as easy as it may seem for any human to adopt a reasonable yet cheesy amount of romantic behavior towards their current life partner, I find it hard and unbelievably dull. All the 'love you's and 'darling's; it never dawned to me as a very hard indication that you care about him or her, but rather the fact that you are adhering to the norms of being in a relationship and doing it for, well, the sake of doing it.
While I am typing the paragraph above, it seemed very obvious where this topic is going into. I have never typed anything detailed about my personal life, but just for this post and for anyone who is ready to throw a can of beans towards my Johnny, I would have to explain myself for the actions that had occurred in the past few days.
Time is a funny thing, and yet, it reveals so much about us and teaches us to make choices based on how we have lived for throughout this lifetime. It stops when you find a certain someone, but flows quicker when the certain someone is not who you would think it is and for you, Miss A, I have done everything I could to keep the time from flowing away.
The sand had washed up to the shore, and more was revealed about you as time goes by while we were together. You were not who I thought you were, and certainly not the type of woman I envisioned to be. Miss A, it took us less than a week to be in relationship together, while not even talking to each other the week before. I believe one of the main roots of the problem lied there, as we did not manage to understand each other and attempted to bond as other potential couples would have.
Decisions were made, and our relationship took a turn to the worse as I struggled to understand you. You tried too, but we can safely say to each other that in the end of the day, we knew near to nothing about each other, as no motivated interaction was formed, especially from me. I adhere to you, I respect you, but I never really tried to understand you, both as a human and a partner.
To end this relationship in such a manner was, in short, awful and yet relieved. Relieved not because we are no longer together, but because you and I could have a fresh start. It was a mistake, a huge mistake, and for me to face it with a straight face was painful. I am sorry, Miss A, and I wished I could have ended this in a much lighter note.
Of course, a main reason of your anger was also because I made another choice. A choice where many modern, urban norm followers viewed as 'taboo' or 'wrong', and while you may assume that I am typing all of this to change your minds based on the choice I made, it is not. This choice has made me motivated and attentive, two qualities where I initially did not have prior to the our previous relationship, Miss A. Her independence and individuality is intoxicating, and it comes in large, potent amounts.
I made my choice, and while you are seething and still attempting to kill me a few thousand miles away, I can do nothing but sit in this room of mine and wish you all the best in your future endeavors and relationships.
Miss A, please live for the present. Your life is going places, and you of all people should enjoy the ride.
