To be honest, this is pretty disappointing. Then again, it's pretty darn catchy, and I can relate to the lyrics right now, so yeah, why not?
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I do not like guessing.
It is a sign of distrust, a raucous banquet of the truth lying before your eyes but you can only taste it when you dip your fingers into your mind, to twist it, to be in someone's shoes to solve this before a plate is placed on your hand, along with the warm, tasty morsel food on it.
Perhaps that is the reason why sometimes I find myself... Undesirable. Out of the norm. Out of place. Out of Earth. To be able to guess the truth is one thing, but to live with it? Oh dear, oh no, I do not like it. It is a responsibility placed on your shoulder, and multiplies when the person tells you more only after you have finished that guessing game that he or she assumes is funny and entertaining. It is a sign of genetic hypocrisy, where a human is designed biologically to speak by conveying their thoughts in words, not by twisting it, turning this guessing game into a myriad of dodgeballs where a person like me would have to keep dodging variables after variables before reaching a suitable conclusion.
This is why trust is a very strong word for me, I guess. I am not raised up to live in the fear of the truth, but to relish in it and to conquer it. Life has offered me many things, but the only thing it does not offer me is the benefit of the doubt. Doubting is the root of all dissatisfaction, and to be truly immersed in it would mean that you yourself would be a warrior of deceit, where you work for yourself and only yourself. It irritates me, honestly, when a question turns into a lame board game, and to win it means guessing all the way from the bottom to the top.
(So, why can't humans tell the truth straight away without question, and why the hate?)
I do not hate it. I disapprove of it. All relationships, whether it be friends or family or a personal relationship with a loved one, should not be based on deciphering each other's thoughts. We should all honest about each other, and to be able to convey thoughts through motions of our beliefs and the ability to communicate. It irks me to see how relationships wither and die because of this, all while they do not know that this is a major pivot of their problems and misunderstandings.
I am, unfortunately, not Patrick Jane, nor am I a true psychic. I am Andy Lai, an ordinary Chinese living in Kuala Lumpur, and to let myself succumb into these endless mazes that they call guessing is very, very, very tiring for me, both mentally and spiritually. I just want to know how you feel, how you think and how you would really want me to help you, because there is a reason why you would let me guess it instead of just telling me, right, humans?
It is 2.49am right now in this part of the world, and I am tired of being a total prick in the Internet. I'm out.
Let me sleep, Brain, please. Please.
Save me from insecurity.
